I wrote some posts ahead, to be scheduled after I figure out when I'm telling people about our upcoming addition to the family. The first part of this was written at 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant by my count (and I know when I ovulated, so I'm pretty sure I'm spot on). The second part, at 8 weeks 6 days.
When I was pregnant with Acorn, I put off buying maternity clothes. First, because I couldn't believe I was finally pregnant, and second because I was so stinkin' sick with morning sickness I couldn't imagine shopping...besides, I was embarrassed to be shopping for maternity clothes when clearly, I didn't look pregnant, I was *obviously* just fat.
A big part of that was the 2 sizes I lost while vomiting. Seriously, I know my doctors and my insurance company all believe I should lose weight; I don't really think this was what they meant. Belts were a problem at 13 weeks, I started rotating outfits in at 15 weeks (with those belly bands over my regular pants, or over my maternity pants to help hold them up) and I finally put away the last of my normal clothes around 20 weeks.
I bought some things I regretted, because even as a size 14/16/18 (depending on the brand) there aren't a lot of choices, maternity wise. Most maternity stores have limited selection at the mall to begin with, and then only have one little 3 foot section of wall for "plus sizes" which is funny, given that fully half of the female population of the US wears size 14 or larger.
Anyway. When I came home from my 2 week stay in the hospital, my mom packed up all my maternity things while I was napping. I was kind of glad she'd done it - I just wasn't ready to deal with it yet, but seeing it in the closet wasn't going to help either.
On the opposite end of the spectrum....this weekend I unpacked that same bag of clothing. I want - need - time to process.
And I want time to go looking for items to replace the ones I hate. I can go resale hunting over the holiday break, I have plenty of time. Because if I have anything to say about it, this is going to be a healthy full term pregnancy, and I'm going to wear this stuff longer than the 6-8 weeks of use it got last time.
I'm still contemplating what to do about clothing. I have no desire to out myself at work just yet. But in the evenings when I get home, I long for the comfort of yoga pants. My belly hasn't grown - the morning sickness this time around has required drugs, in fact, and I lost 6 pounds between week 6 and week 8. Part of it, I'm sure, is constipation caused by the medication. But anything tight is just....too tight.
I did go buy some things on sale. And maybe I'll buy a few more in a month or so - I still have to figure out telling the people I see every day (work, and Acorn's staff), much less the family. But by then I'll probably be wearing maternity clothes anyway
This is the part I dread, actually - telling people. It's different telling friends. Friends are all glad for you - even the ones who hate kids, and the ones who are jealous. Actually, sometimes especially the ones who are jealous, the ones who've had their own fertility struggles. They know how much it means.
Co-workers are funny about this sort of thing. They know you'll be out; they know they'll be expected to carry some of the load. I worry about their reaction, given Acorn's history and early arrival.
I'm still happy, don't get me wrong - but today the anxiety is getting to me.