Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Review: Happy Heinies Pocket Trainer

We ordered these from Kelly's Closet.. I purchased a size medium in red. A variety of sizes and colors are available.




Materials: This has a PUL layer on the outside, and a fleece liner. We've been stuffing them with a microfiber towel we already had.

Closures: These snap up the front, which we like. The elastic is nice around the legs; not too tight, not too loose

Sizing: We ordered a medium, sized for 30-40 lbs.

Acorn is about 29 33 lbs (we got a new weight, and he's bigger than he was), and mostly wears size 2T clothes - he can wear most 18 month pants, but they're too short, and he can wear 3Ts but they're too long.

These fit ok - better than the Snap-EZ pocket trainers, because the elastic is a bit more stretchy, but the pocket feature makes these pretty bulky, even with just one stuffer.

Absorbency: Obviously, as a pocket, you can put as much or as little stuffing in as you want, but the whole point of trainers, IMHO, is to be less thick so that they can fit better under pants, and because you're not expecting them to absorb as much.  We've had problems with fluids escaping off the stuffer and wicking through the PUL at the legs on both of our pocket trainers.

Drying: Because these are a pocket trainer, they dry super fast.

Final thoughts: I really dislike pocket trainers at this point. We've had more leaks from pocket trainers than we've ever had from pocket diapers or from the AIO trainers. The inserts never seem to stay where they need to be.

They dry fast, but if you've got a smaller kiddo a pocket diaper might work just as well.

Disclaimer: these trainers were bought by me, and this review is my personal opinion of them. No compensation was provided. The link to Kelly's Closet is an affiliate link and I get a percentage of sales through the link.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Baby Fever

Have I mentioned that I want another baby?

I know, it sounds crazy. We have all this stuff going on, and there is the liklihood that another pregnancy would be equally high risk...adding another child to this would be crazy, right?

That's why it's called Baby Fever.

*****

I'm back to trolling adoption sites, falling in love with children I haven't met. I'm charting temperatures (and approaching 3 months without ovulating). Fertility drugs and their accompanying mood swings were not fun...but I'll do it again, if that's what it takes (which it will....up to the point we are willing to go, which is to say, we're not doing IUI or IVF, but there are personal reasons for that that I don't want to get into here).

It's not as painful as before Acorn, but it's approaching the same intensity. It's not as sharp; it doesn't bring tears to my eyes to see pregnant women and newborns...but instead, a deep sense of longing.

*****

The other morning, I dreamed about being pregnant. About finding out I was pregnant. It was one of those amazingly detailed dreams that seem so real, it's hard to tell what reality is when you wake up. It was a dream involving finding out away from home, and having to tell other friends suffering infertility about it - something I didn't really have to do last time, because back then, all my friends who wanted babies already had them.

I used to trust dreams like this, but...I'd had so many dreams that my first child would be a girl, and instead I have a boy. So many dreams about 5 kids (always five) and yet I only have one....and his existance was "just barely." So many dreams about our business being wildly successful, and we've shut it down. So many dreams.....all wrong.

*****

And yet, I know that right now is not the right time. There are family plans in the works for early summer, and getting pregnant now would almost certainly mean missing out. And since it's not like it'll just happen, these things have to be planned, and if you're going to plan out the next year and a half of your life, you might as well try to make it convenient.

And who ever thought kids and convenience belonged in the same thought?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

happy blogaversary to me

When I started this a year ago, I didn't really know what my goal was, other than to write.

I'm still not clear on the goal, but I'm trying to go with the flow - trying to get both the special needs side and the spiritual side of things in on a regular  basis, and trying to talk more about what we're doing with Acorn, spiritually  speaking...which means being a little more organized about the doing part of it.

I'm still surprised every day that people actually read what I'm writing too. I know I shouldn't be, really, but it's nice to know that there are people who find what I'm writing interesting enough to read it more than just one day and never come back.

Anyway. Thank you for joining me on this journey, and here's to another successful year of blogging!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Review: Snap-EZ stuffable trainers

We ordered these directly from Snap-EZ.. I purchased a size 2T in Blue. A variety of sizes and colors are available, but there's no way to tell if the color you want is in stock in the size you want. This is a bit irritating when the first three colors you choose are out of stock in your prefered size...



Materials: This has a PUL layer, and the rest is made with a suede liner, just like a pocket diaper. We also ordered a fleece insert, which you can see in the photo.

Closures: These snap up the sides.

Sizing: We ordered a 2T

Acorn is about 29 lbs, and mostly wears size 2T clothes - he can wear most 18 month pants, but they're too short, and he can wear 3Ts but they're too long.

They fit ok. We like the Happy Heinys pocket a bit better than these for fit - the elastic on those is a bit tighter.


Absorbency: At about an ounce and a half, the water started running out the legs of this trainer. The insert wasn't wicking water away from the spot where it was soaking through the inner surface, and as a result, the PUL at the legs was saturated long before the water soaked up into the insert.

The inner fleece was dripping wet - even 15 minutes later, there were still puddles that hadn't soaked into the insert. I wrang most of an ounce of water out of the shell itself after that, realizing that the insert was the problem.

We've had a couple of leaks that seem similar to this, even after a lot of washings. This may be a problem with the insert, though - see the final thoughts section of this review.

Drying: On the plus side, because these are pockets, they dry super quick.

Final thoughts: These shipped really quickly - we ordered Saturday night and had an email that they'd been shipped on Tuesday.

I've decided I'm not fond of pocket trainers. It's hard to find an insert that actually stays where it belongs, which is not a problem we've ever had with pocket diapers. I don't want to double up the inserts, since that defeats the purpose of a trainer. We've used the fleece insert from SnapEZ, we've used BG microfiber, we've used infant prefolds, and they're all subject to shifting in both this trainer and the HH trainer (next week's review).

One other thought...What's the difference between a pocket trainer and a pocket diaper that closes with snaps? It seems to me the answer is "fewer snaps" - these have no ability to adjust at the waist, which means if your child grows you have to buy a new size. That being said, it might be worth trying some snapping one-size pockets as trainers if your child is small enough to fit in them, rather than buying trainers.


Disclaimer: these trainers were bought by me, and this review is my personal opinion of them. No compensation was provided.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Virtues for a special needs parent - part 3

The third installment in my series on virtues is Honor and Humility.

There are several ways we can take the word honor here. I've always assumed that Valiente meant for us to act as honorable people - keeping our word to others, treating others with respect, acting with integrity - a person of good moral character. .

True, we act with honor when we care for our children, when we treat all the teachers, therapists, doctors, and other staff members we deal with in a positive manner, even when we're angry with them.

But the more I think about it, the more I think that some of the other definitions of honor might apply as well. Some parents I know, for example, feel honored to be the parent of their child, to be allowed to learn from them. Some of us are respected in our respective communities for our advocacy, and that's honor too.

Some people even try to bestow honor on us as parents for taking on such a challenge (though I'm quick to point out that there isn't any other choice, so it's not really, in my mind, an issue of honor).

And that brings us to humility. If there's anything I've learned on this journey, it's humility. The word humble is related to various words for earth - we even use the phrase, "down to earth," to describe people who are humble. So, in elemental terms, humility means acting as one who is well grounded.



Humility is knowing when I don't know the answer. It's allowing others to help us.

It's knowing that the doctor standing there, telling me things about my child's future that he can't actually predict, isn't acting with humilty (or even necessarily with honor), and calling him to the carpet without being rude.

The pairing of honor and humility is interesting - it's easy to lose sight of humility when we're being honored for our actions. But balancing the two of them - being humble without being a door mat, and being aware of our standing in the community, and aware of how other people see the things we accomplish for and with our children while maintaining humility, can be an interesting line to walk.

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

Friday, September 17, 2010

life gets in the way

You'd think, being a working mom with a special needs kid, that I'd be better at scheduling...but you'd be wrong, at least when it comes to scheduling me into the calendar. Things have been hectic the last couple of weeks. It shows in my writing, and my artwork...and in things like sleep and emotional stability

Acorn has seen cardiology, urology, pulmonology, orthotics, x-ray, PT/OT/ST (those three are every week), the psychologist (that's every week too), we've scheduled an IEP re-do for next week, and he's seen 3 of his 4 school based therapists this week.

Acorn is now off O2 when he's awake (mostly) and we're waiting for a surgery date from urology. And we've gotten through all of those appointments without screaming, panic, or sobbing. I guess the psychologist is worth what we're paying her, but it's still pricey.

One of our cats is dying, and has to be infused with fluids several times a week, plus multiple vet visits. Kidney failure is not fun, and we're discussing at what point we say enough is enough. For now, he's not quite himself, but not suffering either, so we soldier on in what we know is a losing battle.

My back has been getting progressively more stiff the last couple months, and I've had 4 migraines in the last month, so it finally became obvious that I needed to stop and regroup on the self-care front and find a chiropractor last week...because my back and hips hurt so much it brought tears to my eyes.

Where am I supposed to fit in 3 adjustments a week for the next month? Luckily, the new chiro has appointments right up to 6, and is super fast and less than 3 miles from home.

They don't do manual adjustments - they use a gun thingy, and some applied kinesiology - so it's a little more holistic than past chiros I've seen (or, "they're more woo than most" as my spouse puts it). The doctor I see in their office was quick to point out that she's been getting adjustments for years, but was still having migraines until recently, and that they don't push supplements because they're not going to sell things they haven't found on their own and used first.

For all that it seems more gentle than the manual adjustments I'd gotten before, it sure hurts like a manual adjustment after the fact. I've given up and taken motrin several times, and no, drinking more water...lots more water....isn't helping any.

They have an office dog too, which is nice, and a kid-specific adjustment room decorated like a jungle. Since Acorn is at risk of developing scoliosis, it wouldn't be a bad thing to get him in too, but schedules....

Tonight we have nursing straight through the night. Much though I'd like a nice quiet dinner and a movie, I think our to-do lists are long enough that we need to get stuff done instead.

Tomorrow is Pagan Pride Day, and I haven't gathered up supplies for the craft I'm teaching, nor have I really put together my notes for the workshop I'm doing on toddlers and energy work.

Tomorrow is also karate test day. I'm going for my red belt, which means I'm at the half way point to being a black belt - take that, people who think that we can "fix" fat by exercising, or that all fat people do is sit around watching TV. The guy who broke into the house two winters ago sure regretted it, and I was only just barely an orange belt then.

Tomorrow is also, of course, chiropractor day again too. Ouch

Sunday is bead and stone shopping day, as K and I are heading to a trunk show for one of my suppliers.

And somewhere in there I have orders to fill, a website to work on, and an IEP meeting to prepare for.

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Review: Snap-EZ AIO training pants

We ordered these directly from Snap-EZ.. I purchased a size 2T in grape - not that you can tell from the picture, but that's a purple trainer there. A variety of sizes and colors are available, but there's no way to tell if the color you want is in stock in the size you want. This is a bit irritating when the first three colors you choose are out of stock in your prefered size...



Materials: This has a PUL layer, and the rest is made

Closures: These snap up the sides. It's convenient, but I think I like the look of front snaps a bit better.

Sizing: We ordered a 2T

Acorn is about 29 lbs, and mostly wears size 2T clothes - he can wear most 18 month pants, but they're too short, and he can wear 3Ts but they're too long.

These fit ok, and will fit for a while - the elastic is pretty gentle. They're not the best fitting ones we've got, and they're a bit poofy under pants.

Absorbency: Our first absorbency test on these was a dismal failure, 2 washes in. At about half an ounce, the water puddled, then ran out the legs. Even with breaks in pouring, puddles would sit for up to 15 minutes before soaking in, and pouring more water after it soaked in resulted in more puddles.

That said...we've not had any leaks in use. I'd be concerned that a heavy wetter might leak with these - see the next heading for more details

Drying: The site makes mention of needing to wash 5 times to reach maximum absorbency, which is a bummer for me. Washing with our normal diapers, it would take 2 weeks to get that many washes in. I'm sure that was part of our absorbency problem. They aren't the fastest drying, but they're not the slowest either.

Final thoughts: These shipped really quickly - we ordered Saturday night and had an email that they'd been shipped on Tuesday. I prefer these over the stuffable trainers made by the same company (which will be an upcoming review) - and I always thought I'd hate AIOs.

Disclaimer: these trainers were bought by me, and this review is my personal opinion of them. No compensation was provided.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Review: Stellar Transitions Trainers

We ordered these directly from Banana Bottoms. I purchased a "size 2T-3T" with a transportation print around the hips and white up through the wet zone. A variety of sizes and prints are available, as well as customs.




Materials: This has a PUL layer, and the rest is made from organic cotton and bamboo.


Closures: These snap up the front, which we really like. Standing changes don't work so well at our house, especially where poop is involved, and doing side snaps when laying down is hard.

Sizing: We ordered a 2T-3T, which should be about right.

Acorn is about 29 lbs, and mostly wears size 2T clothes - he can wear most 18 month pants, but they're too short, and he can wear 3Ts but they're too long.

The waist on these is a bit loose, often leaving us with a plumber's crack effect. They won't stay up at his natural waist. A little more oomph to the elastic would be an improvement.

They're a very trim fit, and would go well under pants.

Absorbency: These soaked up every bit of the water in the absorbency test, but none of it wicked up the wet zone.

Laundry: The site makes mention of needing to wash 5 times to reach maximum absorbency, which is a bummer for me. Washing with our normal diapers, it would take 2 weeks to get that many washes in.

It hasn't taken that long to get absorbency, but these are the most wet of any other pair when we take them out of the dryer. Our dryer runs a sensor cycle to tell if clothing is done; it gets diapers dry, no questions asked, and this is the only thing still wet...often still very wet, not just damp. We usually have to leave them hanging overnight after they've been through the dryer.

Final thoughts: I think these are amazingly cute. If I could get past the drying issue, I'd probably buy more of these, but I don't usually have time to wait for them to dry.

Disclaimer: these trainers were bought by me, and this review is my personal opinion of them. No compensation was provided.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Review: BumUnders Trainers

We got these cute trainers from BumUnders within a week of placing our order - one of the faster shipping times. I ordered a "size 2" in a zoo print. A variety of sizes and prints are available, as well as custom orders.



Materials: These are a cute print outside, velour inside, and a hidden layer of PUL through the wet zone. I love how soft the velour is!

Closures: I wish they had snaps - again, we're just getting started, and if your kiddo is pretty good about pooping in the potty, it might not be a big deal for you. The elastic seems to be nicely stretchy without too much bulk.

Sizing: We ordered size 2. Sizing claims size 1 is for infants and skinny toddlers, size 2 fits 2-4T, and size 3 first 4-6T.

Acorn is about 29 lbs, and mostly wears size 2T clothes - he can wear most 18 month pants, but they're too short, and he can wear 3Ts but they're too long.

These are a really nice size - underwear sized, sitting low on the hips. I am not convinced they'll fit all the way to 4T, but I guess we'll find out.

Absorbency: In my standard 2 oz liquid test, the first little bit puddled in the velour, but once it started soaking in, all the rest of it soaked right in too. This trainer definitely won't hold much more than one pee though, so keep that in mind.

Drying:  These have never come out of the dryer still damp.

Final thoughts: These are really cute, and cut more like underwear than some others. They'd be great under pants, but not so great if you're still missing a lot of poops. They're super super soft inside too.

Disclaimer: these trainers were bought by me, and this review is my personal opinion of them. No compensation was provided.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Why you should read my blog

My friend @kysilka posted this challenge:

I hereby challenge YOU to write a blog post on one of the following two topics.
 
1.  Ten Reasons Why You Should Read [Whatever it is I Write], or
2.  Why I Write. 

So, I'm pretty sure I won't get to ten reasons, but here's a good start:

1.  My kid is super cute, and while I don't post many pictures, sometimes I give you a little boost for the day:



2. How many Pagan moms with special needs kids are there anyway?

3. Even more than that, a Pagan mom with a special needs child who's medically fragile but getting better every day? I'm sure you like to cheer along with us for all our little successes, like eating:


4. If you've ever wondered about cloth diapers, potty training, and potty training without buying a zillion throw-away trainers, you should read my blog.

5. Or, if you think I'm occasionaly interesting or insightful. Or if you find me irritating. I mean, really, why should I justify how you spend your time?

Hm. That's 5. That's half way. Which I guess means this is a half-a$$ job, but that's what you get when I'm up to my eyeballs at work.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Virtues for a special needs parent - part 2

In case you missed the first post, I'm writing a bit about virtues - this series, in particular, focuses on the Charge of the Goddess, and how it applies to us special needs parents.

I have to admit, one of the reasons I broke these up was that I got through Strength and Beauty, and then sat and stared at Power and Compassion for several weeks, not even knowing where to start. Interestingly, it became clear to me the morning I started writing this what I needed to say - there have been too many examples this week to be considered coincidence.

This week's virtues from the Charge of the Goddess are Power and Compassion.

It may be different for other special needs families, but I see Power and Compassion as a really tense balancing act at our house.

Besides his pediatrician, Acorn sees more than a half dozen doctors, and another half dozen therapists. When he was in the hospital, there were even more. Many of these professionals are good people, who try to do the best they can for the kids in their care. But a surprising number of them get tied up in the idea of being "in charge" of Acorn's treatment plan to varying degrees, and forget that he's a child with wants and needs beyond their little corner of the world, and that we (his parents) have a wide variety of things to balance.

Acorn has a lot of anxiety about doctors, nurses, and medical procedures, as is to be expected. You would think that the various medical staff people that he deals with on a regular basis would be more compassionate - more willing to compromise, more willing to take things at his speed. "Power Over" is the usual way things work in the medical world, rather than "Power With."

Frankly, if they were more willing to talk to him about what they're doing before they start rather than, "mom, please hold him while I..." as they start pulling and pushing and making him do what they want, that'd be an improvement.

More than that though, we parents embody this balancing act as well. We have to discern which things in our children's lives we have power to change, which things our children have the power to change, and which things are not in our power at all. We have to know when to show compassion when our child struggles, and when to be stubborn and make them keep trying.

And we have to watch how we interact with other parents. When someone else feels overwhelmed in a situation far less intense than what we're currently experiencing, a lot of us struggle with compassion, and that struggle comes from wanting to control our own situation - from wanting the power to make our situation less intense, and from wishing the other parent had compassion for us and our struggles, instead of being so self-centered.

I'd like to think that I'm learning a lot about balancing power and compassion on this journey, but there are days I really wish I had more power and didn't need so damn much compassion.

Again, all acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals - use the power you have wisely, and try to be compassionate, especially when you most wish to not be.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Virtues for a special needs parent - part 1

In Doreen Valiente's version of the Charge of the Goddess, she says:

Let my worship be within the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. Therefore, let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.

Just about all parents do things out of love for their children (even most really bad parents will tell you that they love their kids); we find joy in their smiles and their delight in the world is contagious. I'd like to think that most of us with special needs children have a little insight here though: we understand just how hard won some of those accomplishments are, no matter how big or how small.

What about that second bit though? That's an interesting list of virtues, and I've always found it interesting that they come in pairs. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to explore how they apply to Pagan parents with special needs kids.

First up is Beauty and Strength.

Whether or not we admit it, most of us special needs parents know Strength. It's strength that gets us through the hard days, that keeps us looking for the right mix of treatments and therapies for our kids, that gives us the power to argue with doctors, insurance companies, school districts, and more to get our children what they need.

It's strength that lets us keep going, day in and day out, strength that holds us together in the ER or the ICU, strength that helps us hide the tears (both joyful and sorrowful) when things catch us by surprise.

It's common for us to feel weak, because we aren't in control - but strength isn't about controlling the situation, it's about forging a path through the mess to get what we want.

And Beauty? I suspect most people think of beauty as hair and makeup and a stunning outfit over a perfect body - a culturally specific notion of all that, no less, that depends on your location and ethnicity and a million other things.

But I don't think that's the kind of beauty we're called to here. This is the beauty of the soul, the beauty of a sleeping baby, the beauty of the smile on a child's face when they finally do exactly what they were wanting to do. 

We're called to seek the beauty in the world around us, whether or not everyone else thinks it's perfect. My mom used to have a magnet with a pouting little boy, head and hands on a table that said, "I know I'm somebody, 'cause God don't make no junk!" - and no matter what God or Goddess or combination of Gods you worship, that's still as true now as it was decades ago when I first read that message.

All acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals. Hug your kids. Do something to make them laugh. Take care of yourself too - take  a long walk in the woods, soak in a bubble bath, sip a glass of wine - and remember that you and your child are beautiful, and you are Goddess.