Goddessey Goodness

After all our excitement last week, it seems I've caught the kids' respiratory bug, so I'm home sick today. I slept all morning, had lunch, and now I'm lazing on the couch, watching bad horror movies & msking my first attempts at needle felting.

I decided that for the kids' altar, I'd make God  and Goddess figures by needle felting them. Learning to improve my crocheting enough to follow a pattern (my last scarf was triangle shaped with all the dropped stitches) seemed like too much work.

So, here's the photo evidence of what I planned and how "Gaia" turned out. I've already decided I'm going to need more colors of roving for decorating these.

Inital sketches for male and female

first Goddess body in core roving

One side, in blues and greens

filling in the other side

 

finished Goddess

"Gaia" is about 1" thick and about 7" tall, which should work nicely on the shelf I'm planning to use for this altar.

My goals for this project include Gaia, Green Man, Father Sun, and Mother Moon. Beyond that, we'll see....depends on how the altar works out in practice, and how long this takes me.

We're a Lot Like You

Welcome to the March 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With Special Needs
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how we parent despite and because of challenges thrown our way. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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It's kind of funny, but the topic left me struggling for a bit - after all, special needs parenting is a pretty big theme here. But it's a pretty broad subject, all things considered, and I wondered what would really be of interest to the carnival readers - after all, while we strive for following natural and attachment parenting ideals, we make a lot of trade-offs, and I often feel like the things that my children need make us outcasts amongst our more naturally minded friends.

And so I thought that maybe that's the thing I ought to write about. One of the primary tenants of Natrual Parenting is that while you keep the ideals in mind, you also strive for balance and for doing what works best for your family. No two families are alike, so Natural Parenting often looks a little different from family to family, and ours is no different.

We feed with love and respect...even if it is a tube feeding, even when the only thing a child has eaten in days is cheerios and prescription formula.

I pumped breastmilk...for as long as it seemed a viable option for both Acorn and Leaf, as long as it wasn't getting in the way of actually doing the things they needed.

We have very attached kids...who happen to be attached not just to us, but to several of their nurses as well.

We reasearch our medical options and choose carefully...we give elderberry syrup for viral illnesses along with albuterol; we see a chiropractor and numerous regular doctors too.

We babywear....just not all the time, because it's hard to babywear while carrying 75 pounds of ventilator and oxygen.

We use cloth diapers...much to the horror of some of our medical staff. We've used washable cloth options for other disposable things too, like in place of gauze under g-tubes and trachs.

We recycle....including the plastic syringes and feeding pump bags and the cardboard that everything seems to arrive packed in.

When the weather's nice, we get outside...even if that means hauling the ventilator and oxygen to the park.

We discipline gently...even when the other parents we know whose children have similar medical issues think we must be crazy to not spank, yell, or do time out.

Every day here is one of learning...even if some days the extent of the learning is 4 hours of therapist appointments, and even if our idea of milestones isn't quite the same as everyone else's.

And we may be among the very few families who've had doctors advise not to let our children cry it out, which we just smiled about and said, "oh, that's probably a good idea."

Really, we're a lot like most other families. We just come with a lot more equipment and doctors than even a mainstream family. But it doesn't make us bad Natural parents....just a little extra special.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 13 with all the carnival links.)

• Parenting A Child With Neutropenia — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses the challenge of parenting a young child who cannot produce enough neutrophils to fight off bacterial infections.
• How I Love My High Need Baby — Shannon at GrowingSlower was shocked to find she is parenting a high-needs baby, but she's surviving thanks to attachment parenting.
• We're a Lot Like You — kaidera at Our Little Acorn talks about how her family is similar to others, even with all their special needs
• The Emotional Components of Bonding with Preemies — Having a premature baby can bring on many unexpected emotions for parents, but working through those emotions can bring about a wonderful bonding experience. Adrienne at Natural Parents Network shares.
• Raising a babe with IUGR: from birth through the toddler years — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet shares the story of how her son’s post-birth IUGR diagnosis affected his first days of life and gave her an unexpected tutorial in advocating for their rights as a family.
• When a grandparent has a disability — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes shares how she has approached explaining her mother's disability to her young child.
• Taking The Time To Really See Our Children — Sam at Love Parenting writes about her experiences working with children with various disabilities and how it has affected her parenting style.
• Natural Parenting In An Unnatural Environment — Julie at What I Would Tell You gives us a glimpse into how she improvised to be a natural parent against all odds.
• Getting Through the NICU — Laura at Authentic Parenting gives a few pointers on how to deal with your newborn's stay in the NICU.
• Living With Sensory Processing Disorder — Christy at Adventures in Mommyhood talks about the challenges that can come from living with a child who has SPD.
• Our rules for NICU - March Carnival — Hannabert's Mom shares her family's rules for family and friends of a NICU baby.
• Letter from Mineral's Service Dog — Erika at Cinco de Mommy imagines the letter that accompanies her special needs son's Service Dog.
• Blessings in Unexpected Places — That Mama Gretchen welcomes an inspiring guest post from a dear friend who shares about the blessings that come from a child with Down syndrome.
• Tube Feeding with a Blenderized Diet of Whole Foods — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her experiences with using real food when feeding her daughter who was unable to feed herself and needed a feeding tube.
• Abbey and Evan — Amyables at Toddler In Tow writes about watching her preschooler play with her friend who is autistic and deaf, and wonders how she can explain his special needs better.
• How to Minimise the Chance of a {Genetically Prone} Child Being Diagnosed with ADHD — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares her tips on keeping a child who is genetically prone to ADHD from suffering the effects.
• Tough Decisions: Parenting With Special Needs — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares what has been keeping her up at night worrying, while spending her days discovering just what her options are for her precocious child.
• Life with my son — For Dr. Sarah at Good Enough Mum, life with an autistic child is just another variation on the parenting experience.
• Dear Special Needs Mama — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes a letter of encouragement to herself and other mamas of special needs children.
• His Voice — Laura at WaldenMommy relives the day her son said his first sentence.
• What is 'wrong' with you' The challenge of raising a spirited child — Tara at MUMmedia discusses the challenges of raising a child who is 'more' intense, stubborn, and strong willed than your average child.
• Tips for Parenting a Child With Special Medical Needs — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares her shortlist of tips she's learned in parenting a newborn with special medical needs in a guest post at Becoming Crunchy.
• Parenting the Perfectionist Child — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses that as parents of gifted children, we are in the unique position to help them develop the positive aspects of their perfectionism.
• Montessori-Inspired Special Needs Support — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives a list of websites and blogs with Montessori-inspired special-needs information and activities.
• Accommodating Others' Food Allergies — Ever wonder how to handle another family's food allergies or whether you should just skip the play date altogether? At Code Name: Mama, Dionna's friend Kellie (whose family has a host of allergies) shares how grateful she is when friends welcome them, as well as a list of easy snacks you can consider.
• Only make promises you can keep — Growing up the child of a parent with a chronic illness left a lasting impact on Laura of A Pug in the Kitchen and what she is willing to promise for the future.
• A Mom and Her Son — Jen at Our Muddy Boots was fortunate to work with a wonderful family for several summers, seeing the mother of this autistic son be his advocate, but not in the ways she thought.
• Guest Post from Maya at Musings of A Marfan Mom — Zoie at TouchstoneZ is honored to share a guest post from Maya, who writes about effective tools she has found as a parent of two very special boys.
• You Don't Have to Be a Rock — Rachael at The Variegated Life finds steadiness in allowing herself to cry.
• When Special Needs Looks "Normal" — Amy at Anktangle writes about her experience with mothering a son who has Sensory Processing Disorder. She offers some tips (for strangers, friends, and loved ones) on how to best support a family dealing with this particular neurological challenge.
• Special Needs: Limitation or Liberation? — Melissa of White Noise describes the beauty in children with special needs.
• How I Learned It'll Be Okay — Ashley at Domestic Chaos reflects on what she learned while nannying for a boy with verbal delays.
• Attachment Parenting and Depression — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how attachment parenting has helped her get a clearer image of herself as a parent and of her depression.
• On invisible special needs & compassion — Lauren at Hobo Mama points out that even if we can't see a special need, it doesn't mean it's not there.
• Thoughts on Parenting Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares her approach to parenting twins.
• ABCs of Breastfeeding in the NICU — Jona at Breastfeeding Twins offers tips for establishing breastfeeding in the alphabet soup of the NICU.
• Life With Michael - A Mother's Experience of Life With Aspergers Disorder — At Diary of a First Child, Luschka's sister-in-law Nicky shares her experience as mother to a child on the Autism Spectrum. It is filled with a mother's love and devotion to her child as an individual, not a label.
• Raised by a Special Needs Mom — Momma Jorje shares what it was like growing up as the daughter of a mother with a handicap.
• Becoming a Special Needs Mom — Ellen at These Broken Vases shares about becoming the mother of a child with Down syndrome
• She Said It Was "Vital" — Alicia of Lactation Narration (and My Baby Sweets) discusses the conflict she felt when trying to decide whether therapy was necessary for her daughter.

Take Time to Smell the Roses

Being a parent, I find that my children are one of the best reminders about being present in the moment - not just because they tend to be better behaved when I'm authentically present with them, but because they are absolutely rooted in the moment.

This week I was reminded of how much we miss though, and how important it is to try to stay mindful.

We went to a nearby downtown area to go to a specific shop. It's only been in recent months that Acorn was capable of walking well enough, far enough, to take him to places like this - particularly without a stroller. Because of that, he's fascinated by city streets, sidewalks, and the things that go with them.

My husband is usually quick to move Acorn along when we're trying to get somewhere, but on this particular day, Acorn won out - walking back to the car, he was so fascinated by the flowers planted along side one business, he sat down in the middle of the sidewalk and refused to move.

He looked closely at the flowers, leaning over to practically put his nose on them. He touched them - a big deal, since the sensory issues involved in playing outside have been quite a struggle for him, but he's now at least exploring flowers and evergreens and tree bark; he'll walk across grass barefoot, when at the beginning of the summer he wouldn't walk on grass in shoes.

And we waited for what felt like both an eternity and only an instant, while he explored the flowers. Eventually he decided he was willing to get up and walk the last little bit to the car, and we did just that.

Teaching Pagan Children

I've been reading Pagan Blog Prompts for a while now, but I'm not sure I've ever actually blogged one of them....but I think I'd like to change that, and try to hit their topics more often.

One of this month's prompts is titled Teaching Your Children - We're asked,

What do you teach your children regarding your beliefs?

Do you chose to home-school your children? Why? How do you think this will affect them as they grow up?

Right now, Acorn is small. Teaching is simple - we thank the sun for his light, the sky for being so blue or bringing us rain, the trees for giving us shade. Acorn has decided to hug and pat trees - interesting, since our maple trees are fairly rough, and textures are usually a challenge for him. He likes to sit outside and watch nature, soaking it up.

Leaf is even smaller. I sing Pagan chants along with Baa Baa Black Sheep in the evenings. She's never been out of her little room at the hospital, and there will be a whole world to explore once she comes home.

I've started trying to get Acorn to help with my altar each full moon, but he's really more interested in throwing the crystals to see if they bounce like his various balls. Depending on the things on the altar, he likes to rearrange them for me from time to time.

I do energy work on/with both children. I started that before either of them were born.

I'm sure we'll do more when they're older, but right now, everything is pretty magical from their perspective, you know?


Neither of my children is old enough for "real" school. At this time, the plan is to go to public school....but both my husband and I had some less than stellar experiences in school, and we'll be monitoring situations closely. If things are not working, we will find some other option. We know that any schooling option will require us to be very actively involved for it to work in the long run, and we're prepared to do that. I suspect the fact that education is important to us is far more of an impact on our kids than where or how they're schooled.

The blessings of fall

This time last year, we were trying to figure out getting Big Oak around with his badly broken, just-put-together-a-few-days-ago, don't-put-any-weight-on-it, multiple-percocet-a-day-painful leg. And we had just gotten Acorn off CPAP completely for the first time (and though we didn't know it, a few days later, he'd be breastfeeding for the first time).

But even so, it was still fall. And while the long evenings at the hospital kept us insulated from the seasons, my drive to work didn't.

I have a really really good job - and even on the bad days, I try to keep that in mind. I get paid lots of money to sometimes do things that make my soul sing, and sometimes do things feel like they will eat me alive. I have insurance that has paid for everything Acorn needs without question. I get to play with cool toys some days, and occasionally my bosses even recognize the really useful stuff I do.

And I have this job, this sometimes good and sometimes maddening job, in the middle of what looks like a park. Every day, if I wanted to, I could go out and walk the grounds, have lunch at a picnic table under 50 year old trees...smell the flowers in the spring and early summer....

...and see the leaves begin to change in the fall, like they are this morning. Dark clouds slipping by in the cool, crisp, dusky dawn, with a mix of dark green, gold, and barely reddish leaves.

Some days, driving to work can be a spiritual experience.