Sunday, February 13, 2011

there's nothing here to be sad about

Note that while the first trimester is supposed to be the point when you're exhausted, now that we're on to the 2nd, I seem to have finally caught the "OMG pregnant must sleep" bug, so I apologize if this is incoherent...I'm a nap short today with a sick kiddo.


My father is coming to visit this week. He called to discuss arrangements, and to ask if Acorn would be afraid of him, like last time he was here.

Keeping in mind that "last time" was Acorn's birthday, during the summer, and that it was the 4th time Acorn had ever been around him (at birth, the summer he turned 1, my brother's wedding at 18 months, and then last summer)....and that we were at the height of Acorn's anxiety about everything, and that my dad is not the most cuddly or socially skilled person in the world, you can see why he'd be wary of this man showing up and wanting to play with him.

I told dad that it was hard to say - that the anxiety is a lot better, and that I had figured on finding some things they could do that were Acorn's favorite things, which would pre-dispose him to being more open.

My father was upset by this. More to the point, he was upset by "all this crap that Acorn has had to go through" because clearly, that's what makes him afraid of strange people.

Right. Because more typical kids without our medical history are never shy, wary of strangers, or afraid of doctors. Because normal toddlers remember people they haven't seen in 6 months (frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if Acorn does remember him, but has already made a judgement about him and filed it away).

I just wish that people would stop looking at what has been, and look at where we are. Clearly, Acorn does not feel that his life is a tragedy. He's happy, as healthy as any other toddler we know...granted, he has a couple extra pieces of hardware, but it's not like he lets them slow him down. Life is what it is, and focussing on the past doesn't gain us anything at this point - we've done what needed to be done, what seemed to be best at the time, and we've moved on. I just wish everyone else would too.

1 comment:

  1. My parents were here yesterday...disaster. They are the same way. It's so hard.

    Go to nap...gestate away, friend! ;)

    PS (it's me @mommahopeful!)