I've been terrible at writing lately. Mostly, it's because everything here is chaos...and part of the chaos right now includes a barely functioning computer.
Thing is, I need to write. Need to process everything that's gone on recently. Need to let the tears flow that I've been holding back for weeks - and that is such an overwhelming idea that I don't even know where to start.
So I guess let's start with right now.
Miss Leaf will be 2 weeks old tomorrow. She's doing well. She's getting some breastmilk, and doing a lot of normal baby things (pee, poop, cry, sleep), she just does them in a plastic box, with lots of tubes taped to her face.
I'm finally home - a week as of tomorrow. Physically, I'm easily worn out, but haven't really even taken much ibuprofen in the last 5 or 6 days, because it's not an issue of pain. I'm spending a lot of time with my breastpump (it's a love-hate relationship....mostly hate, though). Pumping is going ok; I'm desperately hoping that we can start actual breastfeeding in a couple of weeks though, because pumping did not work out so well with Acorn.
Emotionally....well, the "post partum adjustment" social worker did tell me that it was normal to be extra emotional the first 3 weeks or so post partum, and we've definitely hit that extra emotional patch.
It doesn't help that a friend passed away last week from a complication of childbirth.
Anyway. It's time for sleep, so I give up for now.