I'm trying to wrap my brain around a number of things. It's working, sort of, though my mind keeps making up little side projects to help distract me from things I don't want to think about.
All in all, Leaf is doing well. We've had kind of a rough week, with some very scary apnea spells, but it's looking like we're on the upswing again. It's hard to keep things in perspective - yes, she's bigger and stronger and more developed than Acorn was....but that doesn't mean we're not going to have setbacks, you know?
Leaf is over a kilogram. She's on full breastmilk feeds - though by feeding tube. Late last week I started specifically pumping for hindmilk to hopefully help her grow a little faster. Supply wise, I'm doing better than with Acorn, but I'm not at a point where I really feel comfortable - we're definitely not at a point where I can count on exclusively breastfeeding without supplementing.
We're settling into the NICU. It is, to some extent, still home - not quite like we never left, but almost. The visiting schedule is different because we have Acorn and his nursing schedule and bedtime to work around. But we've got snacks and a pumping kit and a bottle of lotion in a basket near Leaf's bed, we left our Boppy there this weekend to make holding her a little easier.
We've been decorating - something I'm not sure we would have done to this extent with Acorn, because we were super concerned about the reactions of doctors and nurses, especially given the number of families we saw drawing crosses on their marker boards. We've got a little Goddess offering bowl statue on the shelf. We've added a dream catcher and a tobacco bundle (courtesy of the local Indian Health Services clinic, where I signed Leaf up for their baby wellness tracking program - gotta remember to call and get enrollment paperwork sent for her). Acorn's nurse "helped" him make her a card. And so on and so forth.
I've been thinking, too, about what sorts of things other Pagan parents might find useful when it comes to NICU life. Not sure where those thoughts are going just yet, but there's lots of time for thinking these days.