Dear blog, it has been 11 days since my last post. Before that it was 7, and then 5 (though that was just a little blog hop post) and before that 7.
I could blame it on a lot of different things, but the real root cause is that it's winter, and this is Michgan, land of not much sun in the sunny part of the year, and no sun at all this time of year, when it's just becomming light when I leave for work, and nearly dark when I leave there for home.
The truth of the matter is, I'm struggling, mood wise, and it shows in my blogging, or lack thereof.
It's not like this is a new thing. It's been ongoing, to varying degrees, for years. We've replaced most of the lights in the house with full spectrum bulbs, I've increased my vitamins, I've learned to meditate. I've even taken antidepressants at various points. Some years have been bad. Some years, like the year Acorn was born, I was already so overwhelmed that the seasonal changes were completely unnoticed.
And maybe that's part of the problem too. I've been stressed lately...but not in the same sense that I was back then. This is more a death by a thousand cuts kind of stress, and I'm just not up to handling that sort of thing these days, because there are so many more important things to deal with. We're making plans for next year - plans for life without a trach, we hope. And that's a huge adjustment for all of us.
It's good, but stressful, and the fact that there are so many good things going on right now just makes the depressed mood stick out more.