This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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When I got pregnant, we had these grand plans. Cloth diapers. Baby wearing. Exclusive breast feeding. Baby led weaning - none of those store-bought processed containers of questionable food, we were going to make our own.
Not that we're perfect at eating well. Oh, sure, we talk a good talk. And we have made improvements - drastic improvements - over the fast food and boxed food world we grew up in. We've had a CSA membership in the past. We mostly eat pasture fed beef and free range chicken. We now have a service that delivers fresh fruits and veggies every week, and though they're not organic, they're local when it's in season. We've cut HFCS, and most pre-processed stuff, we eat out once or twice a week instead of eating in once or twice, and it's rarely fast food. We're actively choosing healthier options most days, which is not something I could have said even 3 years ago.
But all the ideas of what we were going to do with our child flew out the window when Acorn was born prematurely. Pumping is not the same as breastfeeding, and by the time he was 3 months old we were supplementing with formula - I gave up pumping at 7 months in favor of uninterrupted sleep. Cloth diapering might work in the postpartum unit for that first overnight stay...but not when your child's urine output is being monitored to adjust diuretics.
And child led weaning? I guess that's what you'd call this mess we're in, other than the fact that we have a child who doesn't eat enough to sustain his own weight, due to oral dysphagia and oral defensiveness.
When we brought him home from the hospital at 9 1/2 months, he ate about 10-12 ounces of formula a day....and the remaining 20+ went into his feeding tube. When we started trying to get him to eat solids, it was on his terms, or nothing, and involved him vomiting more often than not - I was thrilled when we got him to eat 2 Cheerios in a row without gagging and puking all over the table.
These days, at two years old, he drinks 3-5 bottles of millk a day, some of them with cereal or with Carnation Instant Breakfast added. He eats some finger foods - pepperoni, Cheetos, anything "cheese flavored." He eats yogurt (hey, at least I can buy that organic, if I know where to shop).
We still have one overnight feeding through his feeding tube. At least there, I threw out the pre-packaged stuff (it made him vomit) and we're mixing smoothies. Fruits and veggies and almond butter, good oils and protein powder and milk - all the good stuff he's not getting during the day. And even that is sometimes made with store bought "name brand" non-organic baby food purees, because there are only so many hours in the day, and sometimes cooking isn't on the priority list (though we do try to prep ahead several weeks worth of veggies at a time).
He started feeding therapy this month, and they've already given him lollipops and beef jerky and Pixi Stix. And while I cringe at all the junk food...I'm glad that he eats at all. I'm glad that we see progress every week on what he will try and what he will devour (well, ok, we're talking half a jar of baby food, or about 2 ounces in a sitting on a good day).
One of these days, when he's older, we'll talk about making good choices...and one of the choices we'll talk about is this choice we've made: Eating is important - whether it's by mouth or by feeding tube. Choosing what to eat is a privilege that not everyone has. I'm hopeful that Acorn will eventually have that ability.
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Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)
- Welcome to Two — All About Food — In case you hadn't heard, there is a conspiracy afoot from the two year olds of the world. Shana at Tales of Minor Interest stumbled onto their newsletter!
- Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
- Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
- My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
- No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son's food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
- Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
- CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
- Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent's nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
- 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
- Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family's eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
- Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
- When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
- A Locavore's Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
- Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
- Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it's worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
- Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
- Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA "Beannut Stew") — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)
- Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the "real food" philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
- Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
- Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
- Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
- Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons' behavior problems.
- Changing your family's way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
- A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
- Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn't want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
- How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There's a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
- Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
- There's No Food Like Home's — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- This Mom's Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
- Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
- Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family's medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
- Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
- Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
- Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that's not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
- Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
- Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)
What a hard journey. You are so right - Eat Food is the most important rule. Congratulations on being able to let go rather than focusing on the negatives, a postive attitude is far more important than organic vegetables!
ReplyDeleteMany, many hugs to you mama. 9 1/2 months in the NICU? I can understand your joy in any eating success. Keep on keepin' on - eventually you will get there!
ReplyDeleteYou do want you can. Take the wins when the come and don't beat yourself up about things that don't go according to plan. I never thought a snowcone would count as breakfast. It's mostly ice. Mostly.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow! You've really put things into perspective. Food - no matter where it comes from - is what is important. The same is true with love, and I have a feeling Acorn is well-loved even if your best-laid plans didn't unfold the way you'd hoped. (I don't have a special needs child, but mine didn't either.) :-)
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and your family. You've been through a lot and are a courageous model for us all. We're not in control as much as we'd like to think, are we?
Hey there! I just came across your blog from a link on LittleStomaks for the Natural Parenting Carnival. I feel absolutely the same way as you. I had all of these grand notions about natural parenting that kind of flew out the window when my son was born, starting with the emergency c-section and his stay in the NICU. It's something I still struggle with.
ReplyDeleteMy 3 year old son also uses a feeding tube at night (NG tube) to get additional calories. He has trouble eating enough because he's got gastroparesis. We've been using the tube for about 2 months now. We just switched from one formula to another because we noticed a drastic change in behavior (he became hyperactive, fidgety, couldn't finish sentences, tantrums, etc). We switched to a more "natural" formula with pureed chicken, veggies, fruit, but the 3rd ingredient is still corn syrup. The additional calories are helping my guy gain weight, but his behavior (he was already a "spirited" child) is getting more and more unmanageable. I KNOW it's the formula, but we're not sure how to reconcile this with his need for additional calories. I am BEYOND intrigued by the smoothies you are mixing for your son's feeding tube. I was getting ready to email our feeding team about changing formulas once again, and I'd love love love to hear more about how you do this if you've got a spare second (ha!). It seems the main concern would be getting it to a consistency thin enough to be pumped through that tiny little NG tube.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, and best of luck to you and your family!!
Many hugs to you! As a fellow preemie/NICU mom I get that the journey with a preemie is certainly not the way one would want to plan things. I admire you for allowing yourself to go with the flow!
ReplyDeleteI dropped Cara an email, but anyone else interested in real food for a feeding tube kid should check out http://ainsleyrae.blogspot.com/p/blenderized-diet.html - Ainsley's mom has it all figured out!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this! You're so right that we can get hung up on the details when a situation comes up that makes you focus back on the basics: eating and thriving. I hope your little guy continues to make strides in learning to eat, and I trust you'll be wonderful at teaching him more about food choices as the opportunities finally come up. You'll be so excited then! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredible journey you've been on, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it so true, all the hopes and dreams that we have before the realities of being a parent set in. Some things stick around, those that are super-uber-important. Some get changed as we realize reality is different than fantasy. Some get changed because our kid doesn't jive with our plans.
Bravo to you for being flexible, for following your babe and for doing right by him. Even if it isn't exactly as you had planned. Way to roll with the punches!
What a courageous and loving momma you are! I had an infant in the NICU for 4 months who didn't come home. I also have 8 other healthy children. I know that God is always in charge, and we do what works for our child. Thank you for such an honest post.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the "eat food" front. We were going to do things the same way in terms of food--everything organic, everything homemade. Now we'll just settle for "eat enough food to grow." When possible, I make good choices for Hallie (no HFCS in her whole wheat bread; local fresh goat milk) but let's face it--the kid will eat no fruits, really, and no veggies at all. Her sole source of 'meat' are hot dogs and the occasional fish stick (under duress). She lives on pizza, fries, and chocolate. And none of that is in a quantity one needs to grow either. So I pick my battles and all natural, slow, organic food has gone by the wayside of just hoping she'll eat something.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the "eat food" front. We were going to do things the same way in terms of food--everything organic, everything homemade. Now we'll just settle for "eat enough food to grow." When possible, I make good choices for Hallie (no HFCS in her whole wheat bread; local fresh goat milk) but let's face it--the kid will eat no fruits, really, and no veggies at all. Her sole source of 'meat' are hot dogs and the occasional fish stick (under duress). She lives on pizza, fries, and chocolate. And none of that is in a quantity one needs to grow either. So I pick my battles and all natural, slow, organic food has gone by the wayside of just hoping she'll eat something.
ReplyDeleteWhat a courageous and loving momma you are! I had an infant in the NICU for 4 months who didn't come home. I also have 8 other healthy children. I know that God is always in charge, and we do what works for our child. Thank you for such an honest post.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs to you! As a fellow preemie/NICU mom I get that the journey with a preemie is certainly not the way one would want to plan things. I admire you for allowing yourself to go with the flow!
ReplyDeleteI too am a Mom of a child with feeding difficulties and allergies. We are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as he is starting to embrace eating after 4+ years of trying. There are times of tears and hardly no one understands how excited you can be for a child to eat even a french fry or chicken nugget. I wanted to share a resource with you that I've found most helpful. New Visions 1-800-606-7112 They have training for families and resources you can order as a parent. I took the training and it really helped with my confidence level and in making good choices for our lifestyle. Most of all, trust your instincts and don't give up on healthy options too! The therapists had us using all kinds of junk food just to get him to experience different textures but I never truly felt good about it. He rejected those foods too and I didn't want to spend hours of my day trying to get him to eat junk. I had enough trouble getting the good stuff down. Now we still include some of those but I have been phasing them out slowly. Personally, we come from different ends of the religious spectrum. I am a Christian, believing in God the Father, Jesus Christ as our Savior and the Holy Spirit to guide our lives. I will keep you in my prayers- for peace, strength and guidance in your life's journey. I don't know if I could have made it through without my faith. There were times that my little one and I would just sit at the table and cry and pray. I truly am wishing you the best for you and yours.
ReplyDelete